Although I hadn't finished typing how it struck me on Saturday whilst sat at work that it didn't matter how or where I was looking for motivation, it had to come from me. My motivation had to come from within myself. Not from some quote I'd read on Pintrest, not some image I'd seen on Twitter but I had to reach deep inside and take back control of the situation.
I've been following The Body Coach (Joe Wicks) on social media and I've been really impressed from his client transformations so I'd signed up to his free 14 day lean guide; a series of emails to help you start to get lean. I have reached a plateau with my weight loss. I have been hovering around the 13 stone mark for a long time now and something needs to change. I have a personal trainer now so I know that the exercise side is taken care of (although I need to start working out more, 4-5 times a week instead of 3) so I felt like my food needed switching up. Joe posts his recipes on Facebook so I thought I'd feature his meals for lunch and dinner and change my breakfasts to fresh fruit smoothies with Greek yogurt, almond milk and sprinkling of porridge oats. I have been trying to reduce carbs to drop the pounds but Joe features carbs quite a lot in his meals and after seeing the amazing transformation pictures from his clients (seriously check him out on Facebook) I thought, why not, I'm going to need to fuel my body for the increased work outs. So on Sunday, I'd managed to write:
"Despite my post on Tuesday, I've been struggling to find my motivation all week. The 7lb gain from only 4.5 days of eating junk food really put me on a downer and each time I looked in the mirror, I really didn't like what I saw. My tummy has now quite a bloat and sticks out more than it did last week. I've been so self conscious about my belly this week that I haven't worn a skirt to work and wore baggier tops to the gym.
I got 'back on the clean eating wagon' on Wednesday and had my PT session. By Thursday had managed to lose 1lb from my Easter blow out gain and hit the gym with a cardio work out. Friday saw no shift in weight and my resistance work out at the gym. Work has been abit stressful this week and with several staff members absent for various reasons, I was pretty much running the Office single handedly. Cue the excuses to eat half a packet of biscuits and drink large mugs of coffee to 'get me through the day'. Saturday I'd just about given up and had a chippy dinner.
I really don't know where my motivation disappeared to lately. I feel like having a couple of days binging on junk food has done nothing for my self esteem or self respect. It's like its made me worse and I have no idea why. It's like I've given up, like I don't care anymore. My PT was extremely unimpressed with my takeaway fuelled weekend and Wednesday was supposed to be my 8 week review on my weight loss and inches. But of course, I didn't want to do it. I knew that there was no point after the weekend I'd had. I felt like I had let my PT down and also, let myself down and I went home after my session regretting the choices I'd made"
But something in me clicked whilst I was typing out my post and I reached for a chocolate bar and it was gone in a matter of seconds. Urgh, how can I post about finding my motivation whilst chowing down on a bar of Cadburys?! I couldn't. I felt like a fraud. So I stopped writing and closed my laptop but I was still intent on my new meal plan and ramping up the gym visits.
Monday dawned and I got on the scales. 2lbs gone! How I don't know, I hadn't really had a great weekend with food but at least the Easter gain was coming off. Monday was also my PT session day and he wanted to do my measurements as I didn't want to take them last week. I still didn't want to take them on Monday but he insisted (yeah, that's what I pay him for!) and the results were shockingly great! I wish I had taken my measurements when I started back in October but for some silly reason, I didn't so I've only got measurements from when I started personal training sessions in February. Below is a simple grid I've done in Excel to track my measurements in centimetres:
I have no idea why my ribcage has gone up since March but I'm really happy with the hips and tummy losses. And the funniest thing? I checked back through my phone to see what I weighed on 9th March; 13 stone. On Monday I weighed in at 13 stone 1lb. One whole pound HEAVIER and yet 4cms down?! Crazy isn't it. My PT was rather smug about these results as he is constantly telling me how the scales are just a number and how I should take into consideration my improved fitness levels and centimetre loss as well. And that smug look stayed there as he proceeded to take me through several rounds of burpees, he was not flavour of the day by the end of my session! I HATE burpees! I feel like a beached whale flopping around on the shore, urgh.
But yeah, I'm pretty happy with what's going on so far with my journey. I keep hitting bumps but I do manage to get over them and carry on. As much as I see other people losing weight really quickly and I've set myself a kind of deadline of my birthday, I get the feeling it's going to take abit longer and I'm trying to be ok with that. Putting pressure on myself to reach a certain weight by a certain time isn't doing anyone, least of all me, any favours. But I can safely say that I'm very much back in the game and its a great feeling. So far I've been to the gym 4 times this week and have followed my meal plan and enjoying the change with carbs. So far I've lost 5lbs of my 7lb Easter gain so I'm hoping they will be gone by Monday, unless mother nature has her way and slows things down for me! It does suck being a girl and trying to lose weight sometimes.
Until next time
Start Date: 7th October 2014
Start Weight: 15 stone 8lbs
Current Weight: 12 Stone 11 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 39lbs