Sunday, 18 March 2018

2018 Update

So... Welcome back to Just Ems blog! Or welcome if you're new.

Hi! This is me... I have restarted my weightloss journey 5 weeks ago, probably for the 100th or so time. Well I did start again on 8th January with clean eating and stuck to it for about 2 weeks until I went away for a conference with work, had a Chinese, ate Nutella... See what I mean?

What's so different about the last time? Well, I'm taking a different approach with food and mindset, the latter being the hardest part. I'm counting calories with the aim to transition to clean eating when I'm closer to goal when I can increase my activity levels. I'm also trying not to put so much pressure on myself with losing as much as possible in the shortest time possible which is probably the thing I'm going to struggle with the most. I would love to wake up as a size 10 tomorrow but in reality that's not going to happen, nor is getting to that size going to happen in 3 -6 months. More likely 12 -18 months, which is kinda hard to get my head around as I'm quite an impatient person!

But... *deep breath*

So far it is working. Counting calories is certainly helping me eat whatever I want, in moderation. I can go to Starbucks with my partner or a friend and enjoy a coffee, as long as I track it. I can eat ice cream (albeit the low calorie stuff), go to Pizza Hut or enjoy a pasta filled dish on a Saturday night, as long as I track it. I just have to make allowances elsewhere and keeping everything tracked on my spreadsheet is really helping. I know that I can use My Fitness Pal as well but right now, I'm enjoying using my little spreadsheet #excelgeek !

I wish I could say there was this poignant, eye opening moment that made me start again as that makes the story more interesting right? But there wasn't. It was the typical New Year New weight loss attempt coupled with signs my body was giving me where I knew I had to do something.The usual unable to walk up a flight of stairs without being out of breath, feeling like a humongous hippo in whatever I wore, heart palpitations every so often, being unhappy, feeling tired, lethargic and generally feeling like crap. Plus the constant niggling feeling that I'm closer to 40 than I am to 30 now and I really should make an attempt to reduce the horrible things like diabetes, heart disease etc and become a healthier person. 

Now I love Chinese, McDonalds, nutella, prosecco and plates full of pasta as much as the next girl but stuffing takeaways into my mouth wasn't going to accomplish what I really want to achieve was it? I'd been putting off getting healthier for so long. 2014/2015 was the last time I really gave it my all and was successful, I just gave up and let my emotions pile on the pounds. Again!

So here I am, ending up over 4 stone heavier, gaining 2 stone more than when I started in 2014! I'm not going to sit here and make a big statement of 'I'm never going to be this big again' or 'I'm never going to let my emotions make me fat again' because I know that at some point, I will give in to my feelings. I will eat out of stress, boredom, sadness and happiness. And you know what, I'm OK with that. I have to be, otherwise I'll allow it to consume me like it did before. This time I have to let it pass and move on, not allow it to take over almost 3 years of my life though!

Things are certainly different than what they were 3 years ago. I am lucky to be in a very stable place with work, home and love which has allowed me to channel time and effort into losing weight. It has also allowed me to be in a more relaxed frame of mind about it. So many times before I've pressured myself into losing a certain amount of weight by a certain time like a holiday or birthday/event and that is something that I have to let go of. I was depriving myself to meet those targets and when I didn't meet them, I'd feel even worse, as if the whole deprivation was for nothing. I couldn't see past what I had achieved, even if I was a few lbs from target. That is going to be the hardest part to get my head around this time, even though I do feel more relaxed about losing weight this time around.

So this is how I'm doing things this time around:

*1400 cals per day - Currently I haven't got a big focus on eating clean, I'm working on getting used to tracking my food and making the right choices within my calorie allowance. I aim to make my meals and snacks more clean as my journey goes on

*2 litres of water per day - I have a great Weightwatchers water bottle that helps me keep track of drinking water daily

*Exercise 4-5 times a week - being the weight I am, I can't put too much pressure on my knees so I'm walking for 35 minutes or using an exercise bike for 20 minutes at the moment. I've signed up again with my Personal Trainer, Stuart who I've been with before and seeing him twice a month.

So here I am! Motivated? Check. Prepared? Kinda! Situations where I can't count calories do make me anxious. It's so frustrating that restaurants don't put nutritional information on their menus, how are we supposed to make healthier choices when eating out? #frustrating

Anyway.... I've lost a stone so far in 4 weeks and I'd like to lose another stone by end of April ready for my Barcelona trip however, I'm trying not to pressurise myself to this goal and trying to take a more relaxed approach. Fingers crossed!

Until next time

Much Love

Just Ems

Start Date: 12th Feb 2018
Highest Weight: 17 stone 7lbs - Feb 2018
Lowest Weight: 9 stone 12lbs - April 2009
Current Weight: 16 stone 7lbs
Total Weight Lost: 14lbs
Height 5'2

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